Best Past Posts

Sins of Translation It's time to say a few more words, and I'd like to start by asking you to slow down on the watermelon consumption out there. Why don't you try snacking on some nice light berries instead? Those watermelons are as big as boulders, you know. Ha, of course I'm not serious. We use the forklift on them anyway. Go ahead and enjoy them. They're a favourite with some of the little ones, too, I see. I don't mind my warehouse job, but I can tell the Germans need me back working on their movie subtitles. I just watched Downfall, from 2004, and I noticed a few errors. Too many commas, mostly. They're intelligent mistakes, though. For instance, a phrase like 'by the Red Army' needs no comma to separate it from 'arrested in the bunker' when the former ends the sentence, but only if it were more awkwardly contained within the sentence. And 'but' is not always a preposition. Sometimes it is a kind of adverb: We hav...

I Did the Right Thing I don't want to talk about that horrible nightmare from my childhood again because it's just too upsetting, but maybe you've noticed that I'm a little bit zany, here and there, in my writings. While I have shared my most humorous thoughts to try to please others, my blogs have been far too abused, especially by your comedians. I call them your comedians because you loved their crimes with my writings on a stage. I did the right thing by not selling out the public for my own superstardom. It was quite a sacrifice, but I'm not like all those assailants, I care about right and wrong. I couldn't be happy with 'success' that came from such a dirty crime as their fraud. I'm innocent and I only need to be on the street to get back and forth from my job in the evenings. I don't have to take any shit from strangers in the street, so keep the hateful putdowns to yourself please. If I have any fans out there, I do...

Summer Surprise - with Updates I've decided to keep my old room. The new landlord is pretty good. He's made some impressive improvements, so I don't want to be too hasty about letting it go. It's been great for my songwriting and recording. Still, I've moved into the new location for the meantime. I just want to try it out. The summer brought some pleasant surprises this year. It turns out that women live here after all. Usually they cover themselves in layers of worn sackcloth and put halloween masks over their faces, but now it's too hot for that. And it's too hot for them to stuff a pillow up their backs and hobble about like a hunchback, or to put Vaseline in their hair. And if they try to blacken their teeth, the inks runs. Lucky for me. 11:06pm There's a new billboard promoting comedians. Don't be impressed by it. If they need such extra promotion, it's because they are unpopular. And I wouldn't blame the public f...

Clean Motive - with Amendment I should at least report that I've found a new home for myself in Vancouver. Needless to say, the chore of moving, combined with my full-time responsibilities, leaves me little time for online activities such as this. I will have home access to the internet at the new place, so hopefully that will make up for it. I've become very clean in my middle age. I've learned that women are more relaxed around men who pay attention to hygiene. I want women to be relaxed around me. If they feel like massaging themselves or anything, I don't want to discourage them. July 8/2021: You know, when I find myself helpless to write such things as the above in my blogs, I recall that 'Jane Blank' parody of Anne Frank I shared here long ago. Perhaps the real laugh in that one was the extreme bad taste of its impulsive author in that moment - though possibly for the second time. Oh well, I tried to apologize for it in a later post en...