Sins of Translation

Sins of Translation
It's time to say a few more words, and I'd like to start by asking you to slow down on the watermelon consumption out there. Why don't you try snacking on some nice light berries instead? Those watermelons are as big as boulders, you know. Ha, of course I'm not serious. We use the forklift on them anyway. Go ahead and enjoy them. They're a favourite with some of the little ones, too, I see.

I don't mind my warehouse job, but I can tell the Germans need me back working on their movie subtitles. I just watched Downfall, from 2004, and I noticed a few errors. Too many commas, mostly. They're intelligent mistakes, though. For instance, a phrase like 'by the Red Army' needs no comma to separate it from 'arrested in the bunker' when the former ends the sentence, but only if it were more awkwardly contained within the sentence. And 'but' is not always a preposition. Sometimes it is a kind of adverb: We have but four minutes remaining.... Here 'but' is not a preposition beginning a clause, and therefore does not need to be separated by a comma. Now the last thing here, and I'm telling you Germans as your friend because it's important: you need more exclamation points when Hitler screams. Maybe capital letters, too. Bold caps, even, in those spots, and underlined. I must concede, however, that your knowledge of my language is far superior to mine of yours - an indication of your superior education. Fair enough, but few know as well as I do how to translate English into English.

The film made me think about how Doctor Morell could have changed history with the right injection. Whatever it was, I guess he never found it. Yes, Doctor Morell was missing from the film, and it made me think about him. As for fraus who like to ride around topless on men's shoulders after a few drinks, they are always welcome at my place.

So I tried moving, but I realize now that I'm better off staying within a short walking distance of my employment. Good thing I wasn't too hasty about changing my address. I'm not in any hurry to spend more money on rent and transportation.
  
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© 2021. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

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