Message to Global News: Austin Powers Isn't Funny

Message to Global News: Austin Powers Isn't Funny


Here's that music that Blue Rodeo stole from me so their friend Mike Myers could pay them for it when it appeared on the soundtrack of the fraud movie, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. Pretty tune, eh? I've had it on my mind lately. So they steal my words and my humour and then they back it all up with my music on the closing credits. AND THEN WHO GETS PAID FOR IT? What a stinking foul crime. So why do people still think Austin Powers is funny? Global News, can you answer this for me and your followers? Can you answer it with the truth?

I saw and downloaded a clip from Global News yesterday where they thought it was funny to include 'Austin Powers' in a series of YouTube clips that make fun of the tanker that got stuck in the Suez Canal. I guess they think that Mike Myers was funny when he stole my character from my blogs in 2007 to make his blockbuster trilogy. Some of them would certainly have known he stole the idea, and a few more might also know that he stole the titles 'The Spy Who Shagged Me' and 'Goldmember' from my old James Bond parodies, as well as most of the content for his crime from my comedy posts and cartoons in that period.

So, Global, is Austin Powers supposed to get laughs and love after all that filthy fraud? I'm asking you on my lunch break from my honest job. Do any of you know about honest labour? Mike Myers certainly doesn't. Didn't he get locked up for his infringement of my work? Did you tell anyone about that scandal, or did you prefer to talk about Jeffrey Epstein in its place? Yes, Jeffrey Epstein's sex party was the one you didn't get invited to, right? I presume all those dirty fraud stars with my work invited you to their orgy, so I'm alone to inform the public about that one.

What was so funny about that A.P. joke about the tanker anyway, Global? I didn't get it. Is that silly tub still blocking the canal? Maybe we should get a U-Boat in there and stop fooling around. And where's the captain? Is he being 'questioned by authorities'? I hope so. You people shouldn't be allowed to talk about humour. It's too misleading. And MAD magazine still hasn't paid me for those Austin Powers cartoons I created back when they were trying to confuse everyone about my ownership. Thanks for punching me in the face with it on your senseless broadcast. Oh well, back to real work now. Someone has to do it, eh?
  
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