Best Past Posts

Hardly Successful My dad used to say that you have to work for everything you get in this life. He liked working hard, though, and I took after him in that way. My body likes vigorous exercise, and my brain responds well to a mental challenge, such as phrasing thoughts into rhyming verses, or decrypting a javascript puzzle, or devising a good, effective comedy sketch. My music and my poetry and my comedy are all the result of my effort, which far exceeds the efforts of those countless cheap imitators who've been taking credit for it in the last twenty-two years or so - and getting you all to pay and love them for their lies. I could have had a far more comfortable life by simply 'going with the flow' of my middle-class peers, getting a good job and getting married, etc, but that would have been too easy. I wanted to be an artist; not just any artist, but an immortal artist. This I have achieved. You may think it's up to you all to make me immortal, but y...

About Insecure Connections It's 4:32am, almost time for bed. (Remember I work on the night shift.) You may notice that on many of my posts the warning 'insecure connection' appears in the URL window above. This is because the protocol for HTML has changed from 'http' to 'https' since I first learned the markup language in 2000. I type in my HTML manually here, which means that I would have to insert an 's' between every 'http' and corresponding colon for thousands and thousands of links in my account to get rid of the warning on every page. Now, I know I had this blog updated to the new code for months, and that I updated the code on my imaginary talk show blogs, but somehow all those links that I amended with the letter 's' have been changed back to http. So the warning is back. And the post in which I discussed this technical discovery earlier this year is missing. Amending computer code is backbreaking work that I...

Caught in the Net Just an extra note about my links. I thought I already changed my links to the new code in this blog, but they seem to have changed back somehow. Has someone been screwing with my HTML? It would be helpful to a lot of rotten, crooked stars for my pages to include the message 'insecure connection.' It takes me hours to recode them by hand. Have any of those disgusting creeps that TV wants everyone to worship for stealing my beautiful property been up to their filthy, cowardly treachery again? I noticed a message from YouTube in my inbox stating that they've changed their terms and conditions again. It hasn't been a very safe or consistent host for me. Luckily I don't really need them anymore as I can purchase an outside URL now and post my things there. I just need a little time off my real job for the task - if I ever get any. I'm not sure why they've turned into such censors in recent years, but I don't blame them...

Why Must I Explain There seems to be some confusion out there about why I went back to the work force. What lies have you been getting from your crooked stars to explain it? It should be self-explanatory after I spent 12 years rewriting hit songs and hit blogs that were stolen from me as I was left to starve in a soup line. It should be clear, after all that time, that they only wanted to lie to you with my songs and laughs on the TV and radio. They also want to pretend that their stars wrote whatever I haven't reclaimed from them yet. If they're going to steal my music and comedy and pay off all the lawyers to let them commit fraud with it, what choice do I have but to go back to the work place? I need to make money somehow. Shouldn't this go without saying after everything I've already shared in fourteen years? Why do I need to explain myself? Who's been lying to you this time? How many times is a fraud supposed to be able to lie to the public ab...

Down with the Top Ten I hope some of those foolish media who are too afraid to say my name out loud will read what I have to say this morning. (Yes, we have home service now, so I'm not limited to posting from work anymore.) I am pleased to have recovered my dignity by taking a real job and gaining a decent income, but I am still plagued by the odious presence of my assailants on the internet. I just saw Taylor Grift's name come up on an unrelated Google search, for instance. Seeing that monster's name, being reminded of how much money she made from my music for ten years while she ordered her slaves to malign me, I found myself succumbing to another tremor. This is all I ever get from the media for sharing my best things with them here and on YouTube. But they rewarded her and the other frauds so well that death will be welcome when it comes for me, if only for at last being able to escape their unspeakable cruelty. And I'm in no mood for top ten list...

Victims of Victory I felt like sharing something a little more creative for Veteran's Day today and came up with the following. Hope it's not offensive or anything. My dad was a vet. Victims of Victory (High-end piano.) Tonight, a Veteran's Day special: these heartbreaking accounts from veterans of some of the most one-sided wars in history will prove to you that, in war, there truly are no winners. F.W. Private (First Gulf War): War is hell. Don't let no one tell you otherwise. Why, I was just about to get sent out for another drill in the hot sun when I got the terrible news. My aunt finally passed away from cancer after a five-year-long battle... N.N. Gunnery Officer (Falklands War): We was just pullin' into the 'arbour when one of those bloomin' Exocets came down on us. It landed right bang onto our tea ship. The water all around us turned brown and men were jumping into the sea to try to salvage a sip. It was 'orrible. Two o...

Alive Since 'Sixty-Five Tomorrow will be my 56th birthday. I can't believe how old I'm getting. It's kind of a magical day because it's on a Wednesday, which is the same as the day I came into this world. I was born on a Wednesday in '65 and tomorrow, on a Wednesday, I'll be 56. I bet astrologers would find that interesting. And 'Wednesday's child is full of woe,' as they say, but I try to turn my woe into decent music and comedy. I'm not responsible for what others do to it beyond that. In fact, I've built up a nice little set of new tunes, but I just haven't found the time to record them yet. I hope the media hasn't given my birthday to any other relatives this year. I know I complained in my last post about being mocked on my way to work, but it was a rare occurance and I'm actually doing quite well. Besides staying in good shape, I'm saving money. It will be hard for me to leave such a cozy setup, w...