Best Past Posts

Keeping Track of Tracks FEBRUARY 7, 2019: 12:30 PM. Just misread my buttons there. Of course, forward starts out with the oldest post and moves forward. Okay. Better get out of here before I go cross-eyed. Some of these video effects bring back old memories for me, of when all the indy bands looked and sounded like my YouTube videos. Jan 27, 2019 10:58 PM Recent Music Videos Style Title/Link Other Data Date Posted On Blogger? Previously Shared? Music Tycoon Jan 27, 2019 2007 Music Shambles 2019 Jan 16, 2019 2011 Music Ooga Balooga Jan 7, 2019 2007 Music The Wayfarer Jan 6, 2019 2007 Music Flimsy (Effects) Dec 29, 2018 2007 Music Gr. Moose (Effects) Dec 27, 2018 2007, 2010 Music Juice (Effects) Dec 27, 2018 2007, 2010 Music Simper (Effects) Dec 27, 2018 2018 Music Currents (Effects) Dec 27, 2018 ...

Let's Talk of Talent I must have heard the word 'talent' ten times through last night's news broadcast. It wasn't in reference to any outstanding atheletes or poets or artists or novelists or anyone like that, it was in a story about Canada's 'red hot job market.' Apparently, employers call it 'seeking talent' when they're advertising a lot of available positions. Maybe this is meant to flatter their applicants, indicating an admiration for the work being done by their staff, but I don't like it. I think it distorts reality by making talent appear common when it is rare. Talent certainly exists in the workplace, but it is more the exception than the rule. For instance, operating a forklift is a skill that anyone can develop through time and effort, but few may ever know how to scoop and flip a coin with their forks. Fewer still would be able to call it 'heads' or 'tails' in the air and get it right most of ...

The New News 3 Was going to save this for tomorrow night, but, close enough. Happy Weekend. It's been a depressing week in the news. Names have been changed here out of respect for the war victims. Up first tonight, bad news from the Eastern front: the enemy has apparently strengthened its position in the key port of Mariposa. Amid the unspeakable death and ruin caused by two months of constant bombardment and brutal house-to-house combat, leaflets have fallen on the perforated shambles of the city, offering surrounded defenders the chance to drop their guns, come out of hiding, and reach for the sky to rejoice at their liberation. So far, an inflatable Bozo on a pulleyed clothesline has been the only taker, which, when promptly burst by a single round from an enemy sniper, drew cheers from both sides. Meanwhile, in an enemy broadcast, a commander accused by our side of war crimes is shown confronting graphic images edited by Western censors for sensitive viewers ...

The New News 2 Live from Vancouver... Topping off tonight's stories, the Department of Taxation proposes a tidy solution to their year-long backlog. They advise all refund claimants across the country to call the Department's one toll-free line and wait to speak to an agent. By the time the next agent becomes available, the backlog should be over. The Chairman of the local chapter of Hydrophobics Anonymous has applied for overseas funding. Asked why, he said they get more respect from people who live faraway. To the war, now, where an enemy poll has given their leader an impressive 88 percent approval rating. The figure is based on the 100 percent feedback of ten telephone respondents, with over four thousand others rejecting the call out of sheer panic, and one (minus 10 percent) mysteriously disappearing afterwards - along with her cat (minus 2 percent). In business, some sharp advice from a top analyst on how to get through the impending energy crisis:...

A Post for Posterity I'll tell you what power fears most; more than any bomb or hypersonic missile: unsolicited intelligence. By that I mean that power does not fear intelligence which has the support of lawyers, for such intelligence can be controlled. Only intelligence which exists outside of the establishment poses a serious threat to power. As an unsolicited author of poems, songs, cartoons, and comedy scripts, I know what I'm talking about here. Dumb songs and dumb shows for a population of dummies: I give you modern culture. And all anyone has been able to use against this argument since 2006 has turned out to be my own material in the hands of commercial frauds on TV. See how desperate the networks were to crush a smart new talent that owed no allegiance to them? They need you to believe that they are smarter than you and here was all this great new comedy on the internet that not only mocked them but came from one of your very own - a forklift operator. Sc...

The New News Haven't shared a new one of these news bulletins since the last big war. This must all be be new. 11:53pm: When I first shared these kind of thoughts in these kind of words, they'd end up on Saturday Night Live's 'Weekend Update'. But if anyone tried to steal this since I posted it at around 1:00am this morning, I have its time-stamped original all ready for the lawyers to present in court. And I plan on sharing more of these. Happy Saturday night! A leading politician has admitted to lying about her vaccination after testing positive for trypanosomiasis - better known as the 'wandering sickness'. However, critics say that the vaccine she made us all take was no good and that she's lying about lying. An historic moment for the country today with the appointment of the first Puerto Rican woman to our Supreme Court. Uh - few may know her name yet, but everyone knows she's Puerto Rican. To the war, now, where a prisoner ...

Manifestly Unsuccessful It's worth noting that the mere language in the Unabomber's manifesto could single him out among millions of potential suspects and lead directly to his criminal conviction. Language makes up that much of a person's identity. That's why I'm so angry about what happened to my language in the mouths of all those frauds. That's why their crime feels to me like a personal assault. I started reading it but I couldn't finish it. The guy wants to talk about goal fulfillment when he gets his by sending bombs in the mail. He wants to talk about how 'liberals hate the white man' but not about how he hates liberals. He points to 'upper-middle class university professors' as the villains behind liberal reforms and accuses them of acting out of self-loathing. But wait a minute, wasn't he a university professor? So, a university professor who hates university professors, accusing them of self-loathing. Too much iro...

Google's One-Way Window I remember how excited I was with my first YouTube and Blogger accounts. I thought I had a window to the world that would let me spread my work and make me famous. But after erasing those accounts and trying again with the accounts I'm using now, I see how this window works. It stays open to let an army of frauds steal every good thing you might share in a ten year period, and then it closes on you when you try to get your property back. As an artist, I've always written from my heart. It takes a heart to produce music and comedy at my level, but the heartless business stole everything I shared that made people feel good: thousands of original posts. And now it looks like they want you to keep loving and trusting them for it. After over twenty years of complaining about this crime against my work and my image on Blogger, I can say with certainty that my life would have been much happier if it weren't for Google. As long as they...

Crimetube Stinks Look at all the plagiarism on Youtube today. Here are a couple of my old erased posts from 2006. I've still not received a dime in royalties for them. Let me tell you, a crime like this is so wrong, I bet its victim could still go to heaven after committing a mass-murder/suicide. For the CBC's sake, I hope I'll not be pushed that far. If I'm lying, come and lock me up. If I'm telling the truth, what price will you 18 million viewers pay for supporting such evil fraud? And while I'm at it, does Youtube really need ten commercials on that old forty minute WW2 documentary I saw last night? Surely, it couldn't have cost that much to produce and share. Say what you want about America, land of the free, home of the brave, we got some dumbass motherfuckers floating around that country [like George Carlin fraud fans]. (Now obviously that doesn't include my readers). And I'm not just ranting and raving, I have some evidence t...

Most Dishonest Performers Hey, Youtube, why do you want people to love such nasty crooks? George Carlin? What's he doing in my selection column? Yeah, I was too young to be his victim in Johnny Carson's heyday, but since he stole every word of his standup from my blogs after 2005, do you still think he started out as an honest performer? I hope God punishes your website for pushing a fraud like him on the public. As for Chris Rock, another asshole who stole from my blogs, if he got 'smacked' on stage, maybe that's what happens to comedy frauds when they try to write their own material. Your website has been very harmful to me over my talent. Now, I must go to my warehouse job after Youtube showered rich stars with more success for stealing my comedy or my music. That's why maybe Youtube should go to hell with their dirty stars. As long as there's a big war going on, they say that its first casualty is truth, but that depends on who started it...

Wars and Peace I thought I should elaborate a little more on my position in this war. I don't want people thinking I'm a deranged killer just because I support the idea of a physical response to the threat in the east. Peace is a noble cause, but I have little faith in the power of peaceful protest to end wars. One of the wisdom books in the Old Testament speaks of a time to every purpose under heaven, including a time to kill. Do you like Star Trek? Have you seen the one about the 'goody-two-shoes' pacifist who almost let Hitler win World War Two? That's what I'm worried about. And I'm not sure how effective protests will be in ending this war. All the peace marches of the 1960's may have made Bobby Kennedy a presidential contender, but then what happened to Bobby Kennedy? You see, when you're up against brute force, little can be achieved by civilized arguments. Of course, not everyone is cut out to be a soldier. Even someone creati...

Truth Is on Our Side The destruction in Ukraine is horrible. Today I made a button that says 'UKRAINE MATTERS' and showing today's date (3-24-2022) as a reminder that the fighting has raged for one full month. I did this for my president, even though, under current circumstances, I would rather shoulder a javelin than wear a button. We've seen a lot of close-ups from the ground of Ukraine's battered cities. The grinding toll on innocent and helpless civilians is as appalling as it is heartbreaking. And the reason we're seeing such stirring pictures of this war is because Putin started it. The Iraq War could have used a lot more close-ups in its coverage by our media, rather than the 'shock and awe' we were handed in its place, but that war was started by our side. At least Al-Jazeera's cameras filled the gap somewhat. Truth is often unpleasant, and I understand how people might want to blind themselves to it. I can especially see how ...

Let Me Help There doesn't seem to be much of a sense of urgency about the menacing forces in the east. The most effective non-military measure we could take in our defence, an energy embargo, is being phased in over the next ten years. NATO is working on a 'containment' plan, whatever that is. And, at the same time as Ukrainian cities are being blasted off the face of the earth, people on our side of the border take to the stage with their guitars to protest. Here are some tips from a survivor. Energy consumption can be cut drastically by lifestyle changes across the population, like cutting dependency on automotive transport and using one device at a time. Incentives could be introduced to make this happen - the sooner the better. Regarding NATO, unless we start showing some initiative, we will need more than a containment plan to get ourselves out of trouble. We need to up the ante on the weapons front, I think. Ground troops will quickly prove obsolete if...

Beware the Image Peddler Sadly, it is in wartime that we see our mass media at its worst, such as this latest story about Russian cosmonauts wearing Ukrainian colours on the space station. I'm sure it was by accident that this happened. And what are we supposed to get from that? Are we supposed to think that the cosmonauts are on our side against Putin just because of their yellow space suits? They're probably all MiG pilots, for Christ's sake. But we want to keep things peaceful up there in space, sure. I try to judge people by their actions, not their appearance. One's actions tell us what one is truly like. But we humans still have certain biases left over from our vine swinging days which are not so rational. Apparently, we are quite helpless against these unconscious tendencies to pass judgement strictly based on appearance. Such a response is a dinosaur now, and should be extinct in our enlightened world, but it still provides a road to your mind t...

Putin Is a Threat In the 1974 classic the Odessa File , a Holocaust survivor states that he bears no grudge against the German people: 'Peoples are not evil, only individuals are evil.' I couldn't agree more. And Vladimir Putin is evil. We need to appreciate the threat posed by this man when he sends his forces marching west. This isn't some mere Middle Eastern thug, but a military giant. He is a man of physical actions, and only physical force will deter him. He is an ambitious successor to Josef Stalin - who once bemoaned how the Tsar Alexander's armies had made it all the way to Paris in the early 19th century against Napoleon while his Red Army couldn't get past East Germany. The further west, the better, apparently, for these guys. I suppose war can be appealing in some ways. It gives a clear purpose. It unites the people. It produces heroes. Perhaps it's time to start thinking of war in a more positive way. Pacifism is out - unless it...